Parenting in the NICU

Where do we start?

Having your baby whisked away from you after birth changes everything.

Everything you had imagined becoming a mother or father would be like is instantly changed and taken from you with your precious baby.

It’s chaotic, intense, scary, and when your baby is taken by the NICU transport team with you significant other following after, the room becomes quiet and empty. Like your womb.

It’s an unnatural feeling no one should ever have to experience, but many of us do.

The NICU is foreign, and your baby looks so fragile in the transparent box that is now their bed.

The questions that begin to circle in your head are too fast to process.

Can I touch my baby?

Can I hold my baby?

Are they ok?

What is happening to them?

When can I take them home?

How long will we be here?

What are those wires and tubes?

Does it hurt them?

There are a lot of people we are meeting to answer all our questions, but , its too much to remember and you’re exhausted.

One thing is for certain. Your baby is in the Intensive care unit.

With so many people involved, and so many interventions happening in an unfamiliar place. It’s hard to fathom how we step into our roles of parenthood when someone else has taken the reigns and is in control of every aspect of their care and you’re not even sure of when you can touch them.

So how do we. Where do we start?

By stepping forward when we feel like we need to step back to give someone else access to our baby.

When the doctor comes to do their assessment and round with the nurse.

Step forward.

When lab comes to draw blood.

Step Forward.

When therapy is at the bedside to assess development or do a feed.

Step forward.

When the nurse is doing their cares and nursing assessments.

Step forward.

When respiratory is there to change their settings.

Step forward.

And say “can you show me how to help keep my baby comfortable and limit pain and stress during your procedure/assessment?”

Remind their nurses that you want to be a part of their firsts and you want to be involved and aware of ever part of the plan.

To do their diaper changes, read to them, hold skin to skin, sing, decorate their bed space, give them their baths, and be updated when changes are expected to happen… etc.

Because…

YOU are a part of their care.

You are a part of the team.

You are their parents.

YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PART of their medical care and your presence matters. Your involvement improves their outcomes!

You are your baby’s safe place.

Your touch, your voice, your smell, your heartbeat, your warmth. You are their familiar place. And your baby needs you.

This is how you start parenting in a place you never imagined you’d be.

And remember.

You are NOT a visitor in their world just because your baby is in the NICU.

Us NICU staff, we are visitors in yours. ❤️